psalm 139

I feel a holy terror when You are near,
But what I fear is what I’m desperate for:
YOU.
You know everything about me, see every part of me,
Even the things I’ll never understand.
You are everywhere around me and everywhere in me,
All-encompassing and all-consuming.
I cannot escape You, were I to try;
Climbing to the heights brings me closer to You,
Swimming to the depths brings me closer, too.
The closer I get, the more awesome You are
And the more I am ruined by my sin.
I am exposed as in a vast desert and left with
No place to hide from Your piercing gaze.
“What do You want from me?” I ask,
Knowing full well what it is You want:
ME.
You saw me before I existed, ordained my days
And set me as the object of Your affection.
Your thoughts are as precious as rare jewels and
Outnumber the grains of sand on a universe of beaches.
When I sleep and when I rise, You are with me;
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
You don’t come near without being invited, though,
So even though the thought brings a shudder,
I ask You to search me, test me, know me—
And lead me in Your everlasting way, Jesus.