mis planes

por favor perdóname por la falta de puestos.
(forgive me for the lack of posts)

my heart has been very heavy the last couple of days.
I'm continuing to find out were God is leading me, and continuing to trust in Him on this journey (life).
If most of you do not know, I am in the middle of my teaching credential and the only thing keeping me from completing my student teaching is the CSET. over the course of the last month I finally felt like I was beginning to allow God to have total control of that situation. whether I was to pass or fail, I knew it would be God leading me and I was content with whatever the results were to be.
but of course being "content" isn't the easiest of things and when I feel blinded to what is to come in the future... I tend to plan, and in the last couple of weeks, I've been thinking of plans. with the "if" of passing, I had a plan. and with the "if" of failing, I had conjured up a plan.
my plans always fail, and they are never as good as His; this I have known and experienced. yet I continue to have back up plan after back up plan. but right now, even with my "plans" to help me feel secure, I don't know where God is directing me, and I don't know if my plans are matching with His.

I found out on Monday that I passed.
STOKED!
but the strange thing is, I didn't realize until then that I had become attached to my "if I fail plans".

Ultimately, with all these plans and being here in the DR. I just want to be here. I don't want my focus to be anywhere else but on these people here.
that is my prayer.
pray that I can crush the idol of needing to figure everything out. Its driving me crazy.

p.s. new outreach group came in on monday they are from Chico CA, very close to my home town in Nor Cal. I'm in a much different role then the last two weeks. learning and growing as God stretches me in a different way, but very blessed.
thank you for your prayers!